Calculon
| Secondary character | |
| Calculon | |
|---|---|
 | |
| Age | Slightly less than 1000 years but he claims to be 27 |
| Species | Robot |
| Planet of origin | Earth |
| Profession | Actor, director |
| First appearance | "I, Roommate" (1ACV03)  |
| Voiced by | Maurice LaMarche |
Calculon is most famous as the star of the hit robot soap opera All My Circuits. He has also appeared in films, including The Magnificent Three, for which he was nominated for an Oscar (although this was just Dr. Zoidberg trying to save his own skin as Calculon had said earlier that if he didn't win one he would kill Bender, Harold Zoid and Zoidberg).
Throughout his career he has lived a secret life unknown to the public. He is nearly a thousand years old, rather than 27 as claimed in his biography. He changes identities every few decades, and starting out from a humble beginning as a motorized service arm working on Project Satan, made his way to being many of history's great acting robots, including Acting Unit 0.8, Thespa-mat, and David Duchovny. For most of these thousand years, he was also a Were-Car, until Fry and Leela broke the curse by destroying the original were-car.
In 3010, he was directing a disaster film, but most of the props and the actors were presumably destroyed and killed in a real disaster in shooting the first scene.
Contents |
[edit] Personality
Calculon was a skilled actor who was programmed to be very busy. He was idolised by many people including Bender whom Calculon once fell in love with whilst Bender was pretending to be a fembot. Probably because he spent so much time acting, Calculon's acting talent seemed to have infused itself into his everyday life and he sometimes spoke like he did in his movies, even whilst he wasn't on stage. It was also revealed that Calculon was hiding a few secrets, once revealing that he'd been a Werecar and that he was actually over a thousand years old and changed his identity every few decades to hide this from the rest of the world. The only known people who knew this secret were Fry, Leela and Bender.
[edit] Known Filmography
- TV Shows
- Films
- All My Circuits: The Movie (3001)
- The Magnificent Three (3002)
- Coilette: A Calculon Story (3004)
- Space Boy in Outer Space (Cancelled)
- Hydraulic Shaft (Unknown (Possibly 3006))
- Catastrophy Beach Party (3010) (director)
[edit] Additional Info
[edit] Trivia
- Nearly married Bender once, who then was a Fembot named Coilette.
- He owns a big house in Hollywood.
- He owns an enormous yacht named, "Calculon's Talent", in the pool of which he sails a large yacht named "Calculon's Pride".
- He enjoys hot showers.
- He was given unholy acting talent by the Robot Devil.
- Every few decades he updates his appearance and changes his name.
- He tends to see life as a huge soap opera.
- Bender once worked as his hot water boiler in Hollywood. Bender was also his Official Stalker at one point.
- He was the leader of the secret League of Robots until Bender took this position from him.
- He ran over Judge Whitey some time prior to The Beast with a Billion Backs, and was sentenced to community service.
- He states explicitly in Into the Wild Green Yonder that his operating system is Windows Vista, and hence encounters an error in his programming seconds later.
- This suggests that his OS has remained the same since his days as an assembly arm, which would date his assembly between 2007 and 2009 when Vista was the current Windows OS. Moreover as Project Satan is a military project and the US army switched to Vista in 2009 and Windows 7 is due out at the end of 2009, it is likely his assembly was in 2009 making his age 1001. Adding further confusion, in the television broadcast of Into the Wild Green Yonder the comment about Windows Vista was edited to say Windows 7.
- Calculon is featured on a Pez dispenser that Bender once stole.
[edit] Quotes
Robot Devil: Calculon, old friend, I'm afraid I need your ears.
Calculon: Well I do owe you for giving me this unholy [melodramatically] acting talent!
Calculon: Oh, how cruel and melodramatic fate is. [shouting] Why?
Calculon: NOOOOOOOO!
Coilette (Bender): But you always said you'd rather burn down a convent than give up show business.
Calculon: I always said many things.
Calculon: Honey unit, I'm home. [He gasps.] Monique!
[Monique is in bed with Boxy. She pulls the sheets up around her.]
Monique: Calculon!
Boxy: [beep]
Calculon: Oh, how I wish I could believe that. You may be my evil half-brother, but there's no law against murdering the other half.
Calculon: That was so terrible, I think you gave me cancer! I don't care how popular you are, you will never work on my show!
Fry: Yay, Bender!
Leela: We demand Bender!
Calculon: However, you've got the job.
Calculon: Nay, I respect and admire Harold Zoid too much to beat him to death with his own Oscar.
Monique: Calculon! But I thought you were.....
Calculon: Egyptian?!
Calculon: [thinking] I'd like to thank the Academy, my agent and most of all, my operating system, Windows Vista, for everything it-- [crashes] [mechanic voice] System error.
